They say you'll always remember where you were and what you were doing when tragedy strikes. Columbine. 9/11. Hurricane Katrina. Vegas shooting. I'll never forget July 16, 2017.
It's no coincidence that the morning my dad died I was shooting this series.
To be honest I felt like it was going to be a big flop. Models canceled on me left and right and I scrambled to find pregnant women willing to get in front of a camera. I needed more than just the 3 volunteers and (reluctantly) myself to bring my entire vision to life.
What started out as a project to promote the "rainbow after a storm" that is referred to by many women struggling with infertility, miscarriage, stillborn, and infant loss became so much more.
I'd never really shot in a studio before and was crazy nervous. I was given full access to Blanc de Blanc Bridal, a beautiful boutique here in Pittsburgh with copious amounts of beautiful wedding gowns with a picturesque setting to match. I enlisted the help of a fellow photographer, Rachel of Lovas Photography, who helped guide the models and took some behind-the-scenes snaps.
But, like every other time I was in a new situation like this, I started to shoot and the nerves went away, the creativity started flowing, and we just had FUN.
I went home to hear the horrible news that my dad passed away in his sleep. My brother called to tell my husband and I am eternally grateful that he let me wrap before breaking the news. I could have vowed right then and there to never shoot again. To blindly associate the loss of my dad to my experiences that morning. But instead, the opposite happened. I took literally every sign that God and the universe sent me from my father that I needed to keep going. I had to. There was no other option.
My gifts in this life are not going to solve some medical mystery or forever long math equation. They're really not even measurable. But I've never been surer that my purpose in this world is to help heal others by giving them the confidence and connection they so desperately desire. And I can do this through my photographs.
It's what my dad would have wanted for me. For always.
"Mere color can speak to the soul in a thousand different ways."
Thank you to my beautiful models Kristy Tongchinsub, Stephanie Powell McDine, and Elise Marie. I'm forever grateful.